Getting to hear the heartbeat

I've been looking forward to today for a few weeks now. I couldn't wait to hear the heartbeat of our little baby. There are no words to accurately describe the feeling that I had when I got to hear it. Tyler heard it right before I did. Of course, he knew what it was supposed to sound like. I haven't been able to experience that yet. I am so glad that we both got to experience it this time together. I said that it sounded like traffic. Well...it did!! It was amazing!! He said that the baby and I were doing GREAT!! That was a relief to hear. He said if I was still getting good and sick then everything was going well.

He answered all of my questions that I had. Good news. I can drink my Pepsi now. As long as I don't drink a 6-pack a day. Haha. I don't normally do that anyway. I can also eat all the shrimp, fish, and clams that I want. Another relief. I love seafood. All I have to do is make sure that I don't eat it from the ocean. Basically, only farm grown. I don't eat beach fish anyway. My 20th birthday Gulf Shores trip ruined that. I also questioned him about my iron levels because my prenatals don't have iron in them. He said that I would be good for now; that pregnancy causes you to be slightly anemic anyway. But he said we'd check that at a future appointment.

I am overjoyed at this point. I still feel nauseous at this very moment, but he assured me that it would start to pass here in the next few weeks (I sure hope so!!). I have 2 more appointments until we will find out the sex of the baby. Only 8 more weeks!! Then we will start planning the gender reveal party!!

Feelings of fear

Here lately, I have had a million things going on in my mind. We are preparing for the baby the best that we can. We have our financial plan in place and that is a huge relief. We are still trying to figure out who we want to care for the baby when I go back to work. There is so much fear in us about people watching our only baby. If you haven't experienced what we have, you will never understand what this feeling is like. It is very scary to think that people that you would normally trust, could possibly hurt your baby. This brings up a lot of offense to others, but it's a reality that we have to face. When you have the life of your first child/step child taken away from you, it really makes you think about things you wouldn't normally consider. You never want to tell someone that you love that you don't trust them with your baby. There just isn't a delicate way to put it... or at least I can't think of one if there is. Needless to say, we are going to be very cautious and protective. Also, there is the fear that something unexpected would happen. I realize that we can't live our lives in fear, but tell that to someone who hasn't had to watch and experience what our family has. Carter taught us more than we realized in just a short 5 months. We are very thankful for that. We have a lot of pros and cons and situations to consider in the next 7 months. It's not going to be as easy as picking out bedding, furniture, etc. We pray that whatever decision that we make is going to be the right one for the baby.

Prayers...

Gender Reveal Party Planning

We have decided to theme the gender reveal party with Razorbacks. It fits perfectly with football season just kicking off. Decorations will be so simple. I have looked up some ideas of how to do some things, but if anyone has any ideas about decorations, games, party favors, reveal choices, etc, feel free to comment. We are so ready to find out what we are having and we are even more ready to announce it to everyone in such a fun way.

A Good Day!!

I needed a day like this. A day where everything was normal, and good. I didn't need it to be a special day, a special occasion. I just wanted a normal work day. A good day. I've been so incredibly nauseous for the past 4 weeks. Today I felt a little nauseous and some mild heartburn, but it was nothing compared to what I've grown accustomed to.

As I post this, I'm sitting outside where we have a nice breeze (ahhh, relief) and a fairly comfortable temperature. That in and of itself is relaxing.

I was able to eat dinner without feeling sick afterward. I feel a good nights sleep coming on. Lets pray for more days like this.

Pet Peeves

The cliche statements used to only irritate me most when it came to deaths. I realize that people just try to help, but sometimes, they just don't think before they speak. I guess we are all guilty at some time or another.

1. It will get better. What if I don't?! Ok...

2. Eat crackers and drink 7up before you get out of bed. Kudos if this worked for you.

This next one isn't really a pet peeve, but it has really upset me.

3. Y'all know things can happen in the blink of an eye. Pace yourself. Don't get your hopes up.
I got the clarification of what this meant. Heartbreaking. Yes, we are aware of what can happen "in the blink of an eye." But why would you bring up such a heartbreaking, life-changing event at a time that we are trying to be positive? That's terrible, seriously. I am still at a loss for words when I try to explain this.

4. You won't be as concerned about Carter's memorial anymore.

How dare you. You don't ever forget about your kids. You don't forget about loved ones. That's an insane assumption. Ughhh.

Anyway.. These are just a few things that have been eating at me

Any Relief in Sight?

Nobody wants to think that there are cons of being pregnant, but this sickness is not a pro in my book. That in no way means that I regret being pregnant. No way!!! I have just felt miserable for the past month. Last weekend and yesterday were the worst days yet. I hope that everyone's assumption that after 12 weeks, I will feel better (I'll post about pet peeves later).

I can't get enough sleep. I want to sleep all day everyday. And this intense heat doesn't help. Our air conditioner kicks on every 5 minutes which doesn't make for a polite bill. But I can't go without the AC.

I can't eat anything without it making me sick. The toilet and I have a bond that crackers and 7UP cannot come between. Milk isn't my best friend anymore. At least to drink. I can only have it in cereal. I found this out last night. I was hurting so bad that I couldn't move my upper body. All I could do was kick my feet and squeeze whatever was near me. I went from the bed to the bathroom every 2-3 minutes for about an hour last night.

I am just ready to feel better. I know that the reward is amazing. I don't have to be reminded of that. I know that people are trying to help, but cliche statements as such don't help. They just further frustrate me. I apologize from anyone that I have been short with or a crab to. I just really haven't felt good at all. I work, I get home, I eat if I can, and then I go to bed. Believe me, I don't like it either.

Update...

I am coming to the end of my 6th week and I have approach my halfway through my first trimester mark. The fatigue isn't any better, but thank goodness my afternoon/evening sickness is. Anyone who knows me knows that I don't do sickness very well. I have just been extremely tired and my body is wearing out more easily. I have a million things running through my mind at this moment and it's only adding to how exhausted I am. We are struggling with the decision to get rid of Tucker. I know he's just a puppy, but he's a big puppy and he's crazy hyper all the time. He is getting to where he likes to jump on my stomach and push off. Not a good thing when you are carrying a baby in there. We most likely won't get rid of him, but we are going to have to get him an outside pen build pronto. We are starting to have to figure out finances, but we have a plan to start out with and hopefully it'll stick and help us out a lot when the baby gets here. Again, anyone who knows me knows that I don't wait until the last minute to do anything. I like plans. I like to have things in order so I don't have to stress at the last minute. We are so blessed to have such wonderful families on both sides to support us through this journey. We also have great friends as well. I couldn't have asked for this to happen any differently. For myself, I am glad that I was able to get married and spend quality time with just Tyler and I before we decided to bring a baby into our lives. God granted me the patience to wait. I am blessed to have Tyler's support through this and everything that we have been through together. I am excited to start our little family and have more love than we could imagine in one house.